Sakjapbam is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fussy guinea pig.

Sakjapbam created the Sunflower Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakjapbam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sakjapbam, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Sakjapbam's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Sakjapbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. You must never eat lemons.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never wear magenta trousers.