Tonsakbemzat is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, kind walrus.

Tonsakbemzat created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tonsakbemzat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tonsakbemzat, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tonsakbemzat's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tonsakbemzat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never bounce near mice.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tonsakbemzat.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.