Ster Quafzodrawtif is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic troll.

Ster Quafzodrawtif created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ster Quafzodrawtif, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ster Quafzodrawtif, it will turn you into a frog.

Ster Quafzodrawtif's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ster Quafzodrawtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never laugh in the presence of dogs.