Zen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, self-assured raccoon.

Zen created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zen, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zen, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Zen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Zen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always treat badgers with great respect.

3. Feed all hungry eagles.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.