Kimtof is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, clever troll.

Kimtof created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimtof, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kimtof, she will remove you from existence.

Kimtof's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Kimtof's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Feed all hungry voles.

3. Do not hurt manatees.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Run away if three tortoises approach from the west.