Wodnegkarquam is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, fussy cat.

Wodnegkarquam created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodnegkarquam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wodnegkarquam, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wodnegkarquam's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Wodnegkarquam's Holy Commandments

1. Wodnegkarquam loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always treat eagles with great respect.

5. Do not hurt tortoises.