Lipvagbon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, prudent grasshopper.

Lipvagbon created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Lipvagbon, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lipvagbon, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lipvagbon's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Lipvagbon's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Lipvagbon loves goats, so they must be honoured.

4. You must love Lipvagbon.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.