Yogfidcid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous clam.

Yogfidcid created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogfidcid, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yogfidcid, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yogfidcid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Yogfidcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

3. Erect three iron sculptures of Yogfidcid on top of important buildings.

4. Do not speak about cherries.

5. Do not hurt hamsters.