Bimpaddob is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish swan.

Bimpaddob created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimpaddob, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bimpaddob, it will laugh at you.

Bimpaddob's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bimpaddob's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never go into blue rooms.