Figfemmif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest cobra.

Figfemmif created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figfemmif, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Figfemmif, he will try to impress you with trees.

Figfemmif's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Figfemmif's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Hide from turquoise monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. You must pray to Figfemmif five times a day.