Quagnat is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, clever eagle.

Quagnat created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagnat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quagnat, he will turn you into a hamster.

Quagnat's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Quagnat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Quagnat.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never paint your back blue.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.