Cussjigyamzimbun is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omnipotent crab.

Cussjigyamzimbun created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussjigyamzimbun, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cussjigyamzimbun, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Cussjigyamzimbun's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Cussjigyamzimbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick hamsters.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cussjigyamzimbun.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never mention birds.

5. Cussjigyamzimbun must be the most important thing in your life.