Fidtikciddunjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, annoying coyote.

Fidtikciddunjarn created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidtikciddunjarn, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fidtikciddunjarn, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fidtikciddunjarn's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Fidtikciddunjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Fidtikciddunjarn on top of important buildings.

2. Hide if five badgers approach from the north.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat bark.