Habloopfut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, flying crab.

Habloopfut created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habloopfut, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Habloopfut, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Habloopfut's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Habloopfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Habloopfut.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never sing in holy places.