Rownarfat Carlipnutjatlegjopflig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciful hummingbird.

Rownarfat Carlipnutjatlegjopflig created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rownarfat Carlipnutjatlegjopflig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Rownarfat Carlipnutjatlegjopflig, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rownarfat Carlipnutjatlegjopflig's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Rownarfat Carlipnutjatlegjopflig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three pigs approach from the north.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always help otters.

4. Rownarfat Carlipnutjatlegjopflig loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.