Safpigfubsas is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, duplicitous meerkat.

Safpigfubsas created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Safpigfubsas, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Safpigfubsas, he will turn you into a snail.

Safpigfubsas' most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Safpigfubsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always look after injured eagles.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.