Ponratjarnbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, flying dog.

Ponratjarnbonk created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponratjarnbonk, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ponratjarnbonk, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ponratjarnbonk's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Ponratjarnbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.