Figcunvogfet is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic goose.

Figcunvogfet created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Figcunvogfet, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Figcunvogfet, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Figcunvogfet's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Figcunvogfet's Holy Commandments

1. Figcunvogfet loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never sing in the presence of horses.

5. Pray towards the north.