Xemdumkop is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, grumpy finch.

Xemdumkop created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemdumkop, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xemdumkop, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Xemdumkop's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Xemdumkop's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always help squirrels in need.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always obey Xemdumkop's priests.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.