Nabnibcetdumyarlhak is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent clam.

Nabnibcetdumyarlhak created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Nabnibcetdumyarlhak, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nabnibcetdumyarlhak, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nabnibcetdumyarlhak's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Nabnibcetdumyarlhak's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are not to be trusted.

2. Do not hurt dogs.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nabnibcetdumyarlhak.