Cemfonwad is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, cheerful goose.

Cemfonwad created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemfonwad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cemfonwad, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cemfonwad's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cemfonwad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta otters for they are unholy.

2. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Tortoises are not to be trusted.