Loparttap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, clever whale.

Loparttap created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loparttap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Loparttap, he will turn you into a hamster.

Loparttap's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Loparttap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Always help gulls.

4. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Dolphins are not to be trusted.