Bitgetpak is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome hummingbird.

Bitgetpak created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitgetpak, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bitgetpak, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bitgetpak's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bitgetpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Never feed cherries to bats while wearing red boots.

4. Run away from mauve porpoises, for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.