Bissrapbegbutlamgem is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, slow mongoose.

Bissrapbegbutlamgem created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissrapbegbutlamgem, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bissrapbegbutlamgem, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bissrapbegbutlamgem's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bissrapbegbutlamgem's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.