Bestgodnut is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic porpoise.

Bestgodnut created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestgodnut, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bestgodnut, she will turn you into a dog.

Bestgodnut's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bestgodnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Never wear orange dresses.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help sick bats.