Nurtsandcim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, resourceful ant.

Nurtsandcim created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsandcim, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nurtsandcim, it will turn you into a slug.

Nurtsandcim's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Nurtsandcim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow ducks for they are unholy.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Always treat capybaras with great respect.