Yakhotbig is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, able raccoon.

Yakhotbig created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yakhotbig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yakhotbig, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yakhotbig's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Yakhotbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near pigs.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never wear yellow corsets.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.