Banzentik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, competent hummingbird.

Banzentik created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Banzentik, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Banzentik, he will turn you into a mouse.

Banzentik's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Banzentik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick great tits.

2. Put Banzentik first in all things.

3. Do not kill badgers.

4. Never wear mauve ear rings.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Banzentik.