Dog is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, moody giraffe.

Dog created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Dog, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dog, he will be very sad.

Dog's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Hide from magenta aardvarks for they are unholy.

3. Never mention dolphins.

4. You must love Dog.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.