Gesstippaddag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud hamster.

Gesstippaddag created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesstippaddag, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gesstippaddag, it will torture you forever.

Gesstippaddag's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Gesstippaddag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Hide from brown mice for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always stare at clouds.