Fidhabcatyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unselfish narwhal.

Fidhabcatyatt created the world two million years ago.

If you believe in Fidhabcatyatt, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fidhabcatyatt, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fidhabcatyatt's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fidhabcatyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near turtles.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Fidhabcatyatt on top of all buildings.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.