Ganmipcud Taftonkpop is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, effective dugong.

Ganmipcud Taftonkpop created water three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganmipcud Taftonkpop, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ganmipcud Taftonkpop, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Ganmipcud Taftonkpop's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ganmipcud Taftonkpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about geese.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Put Ganmipcud Taftonkpop first in all things.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.