Gumbassjigmis is a god.
She takes the form of a fat, smart
frog.
Gumbassjigmis created the planet Earth two billion years ago.
If you believe in
Gumbassjigmis, she will ignore you forever.
If you do not believe in
Gumbassjigmis, she will not care at all.
Gumbassjigmis' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.
Gumbassjigmis' Holy Commandments1. Never write about nebulae.
2. Show mercy to disobedient children.
3. Feed all hungry turtles.
4. You must love Gumbassjigmis.
5. Always stare at clouds.