Kanstipcum is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable ferret.

Kanstipcum created the Virgo Supercluster six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanstipcum, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kanstipcum, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Kanstipcum's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Kanstipcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Always help sick badgers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.