Sombitcam is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, competent cow.

Sombitcam created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sombitcam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sombitcam, it will turn you into a puffin.

Sombitcam's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Sombitcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always treat doves with great respect.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Put Sombitcam first in all things.