Geprotvan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, generous otter.

Geprotvan created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Geprotvan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Geprotvan, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Geprotvan's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Geprotvan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Geprotvan loves sharks, so they must be respected.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never eat green fruit.