Tifbamyam is a god.

She takes the form of a small, grumpy wombat.

Tifbamyam created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifbamyam, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tifbamyam, she will turn you into a plant.

Tifbamyam's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tifbamyam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four carbon sculptures of Tifbamyam on top of important buildings.

2. Run away if five nematodes approach from the south.

3. Never eat carrots.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not hurt foxes.