Tapyattgem is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, slow monkey.

Tapyattgem created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapyattgem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tapyattgem, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Tapyattgem's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tapyattgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near whales.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Run away if five nematodes approach from the south.

5. Never play with disobedient children.