Gomfossgut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, almighty monkey.

Gomfossgut created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomfossgut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gomfossgut, he will turn you into a plant.

Gomfossgut's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gomfossgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must never eat carrots.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Never jump near whales.

5. Erect four carbon sculptures of Gomfossgut on top of important buildings.