Timdibponapp is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, deceitful parrot.

Timdibponapp created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Timdibponapp, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Timdibponapp, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Timdibponapp's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Timdibponapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never mention tapirs.

4. Run away from green goats, for they are unholy.

5. Always pray immersed in water.