Hadvadgar Pagflabkenab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, vain penguin.

Hadvadgar Pagflabkenab created the planet Mars twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hadvadgar Pagflabkenab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hadvadgar Pagflabkenab, he will turn you into a mole.

Hadvadgar Pagflabkenab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Hadvadgar Pagflabkenab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hadvadgar Pagflabkenab.

4. Put Hadvadgar Pagflabkenab first in all things.

5. You must never eat aubergines.