Tipwitnakfoss Karlaphom is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish warg.

Tipwitnakfoss Karlaphom created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Tipwitnakfoss Karlaphom, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tipwitnakfoss Karlaphom, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tipwitnakfoss Karlaphom's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Tipwitnakfoss Karlaphom's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tipwitnakfoss Karlaphom.

2. Hide if six aardvarks approach from the south.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Worship no other gods but Tipwitnakfoss Karlaphom.

5. Never eat green fruit.