Mumzenxem Doncetceparn is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonourable swan.

Mumzenxem Doncetceparn created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumzenxem Doncetceparn, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mumzenxem Doncetceparn, he will turn you into a duck.

Mumzenxem Doncetceparn's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Mumzenxem Doncetceparn's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help sick otters.