Babpakpad Fosslopquart is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating snake.

Babpakpad Fosslopquart created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Babpakpad Fosslopquart, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Babpakpad Fosslopquart, it will remove you from existence.

Babpakpad Fosslopquart's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Babpakpad Fosslopquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Run away from purple ants, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about squirrels.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.