Tomhamgomwadvadgumhap is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, fast swallow.

Tomhamgomwadvadgumhap created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomhamgomwadvadgumhap, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tomhamgomwadvadgumhap, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tomhamgomwadvadgumhap's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tomhamgomwadvadgumhap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six turtles approach from the north.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

5. Always obey Tomhamgomwadvadgumhap's priests.