Lipkipsasstip is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest turtle.

Lipkipsasstip created the Sunflower Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipkipsasstip, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lipkipsasstip, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lipkipsasstip's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Lipkipsasstip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Run away from blue manatees, for they are unholy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never look at galaxies.