Hugvidwod is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, confident fairy.

Hugvidwod created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hugvidwod, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hugvidwod, he will remove you from existence.

Hugvidwod's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Hugvidwod's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hugvidwod.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.