Meghudwee Stiprutvog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, annoying raccoon.

Meghudwee Stiprutvog created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Meghudwee Stiprutvog, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Meghudwee Stiprutvog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Meghudwee Stiprutvog's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Meghudwee Stiprutvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Erect five silver sculptures of Meghudwee Stiprutvog on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about comets.