Weearnfom is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, loving goose.

Weearnfom created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Weearnfom, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Weearnfom, it will ignore you.

Weearnfom's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Weearnfom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise mice, for they are unholy.

2. Never wear indigo scarves.

3. Erect five titanium sculptures of Weearnfom on top of important buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. You must pray to Weearnfom six times a day.