Gonstafster is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, cheerful shark.

Gonstafster created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonstafster, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gonstafster, it will laugh at you.

Gonstafster's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Gonstafster's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gonstafster.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Run away from indigo gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.